Three
months, maybe more. That’s how long I endured the almost daily harassment from
the lunch table across form me. Even though I wore jeans and a tee shirt, the
crass catcalls and crude comments still poured in from the myriad of boys. Not
a single word of defense came from my peers or even my teachers, until I stood
up for myself. And yet, I’m still asked why I need feminism. I’m asked
constantly why such a self-respecting LDS woman would want to associate herself
with something so intent on destroying the family, the Priesthood and society
as we know it. Even when I convince one that “not all feminists are like that,”
another three or four anti-feminists rear their angry heads. I feel like
Hercules, doomed to fight a never ending hydra of misogyny and hatred. What
antifeminists-and most of the public- don’t understand is that feminism is
crucial to survival in the socio-political sphere and to true equality. It is
my belief that in order for true equality to succeed and thrive, the general
public’s perception of feminism must undergo a drastic change.
Our
world thrives on fanaticism. The best examples are present in the media:
radical Christians, Muslims, dieters, and politicians always dot the news and
take up the most space in our mind. Because of this, true meanings are often
lost beneath the sea of extremism. This love for radical extremes has pushed
feminism in to the zone of burning bras and female priesthood ordination. The
first question that usually follows “Yes, I’m a feminist,” is “How do you feel
about Ordain Women?” That is usually followed with “you need a man to control
you,” or “if you don’t watch what you say, you’ll be in trouble for apostasy,”
or, my personal favorite, “How do you expect to have be a good mother if you’re
going to always be gone?” The idea that all feminists hate and want to
subjugate men has slowed the progress to true equality.
Wait,
true equality? Isn’t feminism all about women’s rights and women being better
than men? Emma Watson’s latest speech finally set the record straight,
extending the invitation to fight for gender equality to men, as well as women.
She calls on men to identify as feminists, to be willing to break through the
“manliness” that our society has labelled them with. By working for equality
for women, equality for all people, men included, will follow. And that
equality will move into the socio-political realm. Women will be able to be
driven, without being called “bossy” and men will be able to express their
emotions without being “girly.”
Other
than just descriptions, sexual harassment and assault will be treated with more
respect. When feminism is redefined in our society as striving for gender
equality, no longer will myself, or any other woman, have to clutch pepper
spray and jump at every noise, fearing a rapist or wrongdoer is hiding in the
bushes at night. No longer will we feel devalued by catcalls and car honking
and whistling, no longer will we worry whether or not a late night walk with a
boy is a bad idea. No longer will the length of a woman’s skirt dictate a man’s
thoughts or the inability to say no control a man’s actions. Redefining
feminism moves the responsibility to the perpetrator, rather than the victim.
But
redefining feminism in the public’s eyes isn’t just about women or just protecting
them, it’s about men. Rape, as explained by Andrew Bailey, will stop being
“hilarious, but only when it happens to guys.” When our thoughts on feminism change, the shackles
of gender stereotypes will encourage men to be more open about feelings and
thoughts and ideas. Feelings won’t be defined to one gender and men will
finally be able to express emotion without being ‘less of a man.’ Both men and women will be able to experience
a greater quality of life when we shift our focus from extremism to gender
equality.
So
what do we have to do to experience the benefits of redefining feminism? Well,
a series of drastic deviations from societal norms must occur. First, the LDS
community must realize that feminism has been misrepresented by Ordain Women.
The majority of Mormon feminists agree that Ordain Women is a form of
radicalism; however, most do not. True feminism is not focused on tearing down
the church, the Priesthood, or motherhood. Then, equality must be the foremost
point of discussion. When education regarding feminism’s true motives, gender
equality, is more openly discussed, then a shift in women’s socio-political
stance will change as well. When feminists are accepted as moderate, normal
women who strive for equal pay and employment opportunities and rights, then
more open discussion about said benefits will be able to happen. Finally, we
must recognize feminism as the driving force behind the current rights we have
gained. Many women argue that “since they can vote and own property and wear
pants,” then feminism is not needed. They are sadly mistaken, since those
rights weren’t just magically given, they were fought for, by feminists. When these
changes occur, a brighter future will be closer for all.
Feminism
is the blood that fuels my socio-political life. Sadly, I’m often asked why I
need feminism, because the public has been misinformed about feminism’s true
purpose. I need feminism because sexual
harassment is a real thing, because women are objectified in every part of the
media, because my sisters in the Middle East are shot for going to school and
sold off like animals to men two or three times their age. I need feminism because
for three months, I loathed going to school, because the harassment was filed
under “hormonal male actions,” and quickly forgotten. And for that equality to finally succeed,
feminism needs to be rethought and redefined in the public’s mind. Because
until we are all equal, no on truly is.
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